


Aahhh. Well. You know.

by ampersang



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Cunnilingus, Drug Use, F/M, Marijuana, Oral Sex, bros being bros, plot if you squint, that brief period of time between 3.10 and 3.11, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 16:02:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8167793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ampersang/pseuds/ampersang
Summary: Eric's devastated, Shitty's in for the night, Lardo's got weed.





	

"YOU CAN'T GIVE UP YOUR WHOLE LIFE FOR ME, JACK!"

Even from behind the door, they can make out every word.

"I'm going in."

Her hand wraps firmly around his wrist.

"You can't. He doesn't know that we know."

"Lards, he's _crying_."

"I know, but you have to let them hash it out."

Her voice is level, but her lips are turned down with concern. Lardo's fingers relax and her hand moves from his pulse-point to the small of his back.

"Give him fifteen minutes, they're going to burn themselves out. There's only so much to say."

Shitty nods.

"I'll wait."

"You want to tag-team?"

"No...No, I've got this one."

"Alright. I'll be in my room- don't leave without saying goodbye."

"I won't."

She offers him a small, reassuring smile, punctuated with a punch on the shoulder. His heart skips a beat. His door- her door, now, he guesses- closes slowly, and he's left alone to lean against the warped wood of Bitty's door frame.

He waits until his friend's labored gasps have quieted before he invites himself into the room.

"Hey, Bits? You still awake?"

There's a long, uncomfortable pause before Bitty manages an almost convincingly saccharine, "Yes, come on in!"

Shitty steps inside and closes the door behind him, taking a few steps into the room.

"I'm- ah, heading out soon. Just wanted to say "adios", not sure how long it'll be before I'm back again."

"Oh!"

Bitty's head pops up from under his bedding. His face is puffy and tear-stained, but his smile is genuine.

"It was great seeing you, Shitty. We really miss having you here. It's just not the same without-Well, without you and-"

Shitty nearly winces as he realizes he's inadvertently redirected the conversation towards Jack.

"I know, buddy. I miss it. Cambridge is putting me through the fucking ringer. Can I sit?" He gestures towards the bed.

Southern hospitality trumps self-pity, and Bitty nods, pulling up his feet to make room for his friend.

"Oh, goodness, how rude. Please, by all means."

Shitty settles in beside him, neglecting Bitty's personal space as he morphs into a comfortable position.

"Aww, yeah- this is the life. You always had the most comfy bed."

That gets a small chuckle out of Bitty, who shakes his head.

"You say 'comfy', but what you mean is, 'best smelling sheets'."

"Truer words were never spoken. How often am I supposed to be washing them?"

"I'd recommend weekly."

"...Note to self, wash sheets when I get home."

Bitty laughs, and Shitty grins too. He feels better, seeing levity return to his friend's features.

"Bits...Feel free to tell me to shut up and fuck off, but- are you okay?"

Bitty knew the question was coming, but still, he stammers through it. "I- oh- well, yes- don't worry about me, I'm- you have so much on your plate- things have just been- I'm fine."

Shitty nods.

"I hear you, bro. Here's the thing. I've been working non-stop since the beginning of the semester honing my analytical skills. Right now, all of my bullshit sensors are going berserk. I'm not saying you need to go David Copperfield on me or anything, but if you want to get anything off your chest, I'm listening."

For a brief moment a look of desperation crosses Bitty's face, and it cuts right through Shitty. He looks helpless, like a baby bird tipped from the nest, too fragile to fly away, or cry for help.

"I don't- I can't-"

Shitty holds up his hand.

"Say no more. I'm not trying to force it out of you."

He gives Bitty a moment, before he offers,

"-Do you want a hug?"

Bitty doesn't answer. He simply shifts over to Shitty's side, folding against him, deflated and defeated.

\--- -----------------------------------------------------------------

It's nearly two hours later when Shitty cracks the door to his old room.

"Lards?"

The space still smells comfortingly homey- perhaps even more so now that it's punctuated with the smell of gesso and hot glue. Lardo is still awake, huddled on a beanbag in the corner. A small pedestal lamp casts a halo of warm light over her make-shift work space. There's a drawing board in her lap, and she's busy smudging charcoal. Shitty is momentarily taken aback by the sight- it's so familiar, so mundane. She's stripped down to a sports bra and pair of athletic shorts; her usual sleepwear. There's coal on her hands, her chin, on the bare skin of her belly. He's never seen anything more beautiful, and suddenly he's homesick for the place he's about to leave.

"You just going to lurk in the doorway, or you going to come in?" She questions without looking up, although she does remove the earbuds from her ears.

"Sorry, sorry." He steps in, and closes the door behind him.

"You were gone a while," She notes, looking up after she's satisfied with the line she's been laboring over.

"Everything okay?"

"Eh." Shitty shrugs. "Who hasn't cried themselves to sleep in the arms of a bro? It's an essential part of the college experience."

Lardo winces.

"That bad?"

"Yeah...Little dude's hurting."

"He talk to you at all?"

"Nah. We just sort of...Non-verbally grieved."

She nods, setting her drawing board to the side, careful not to smudge the work as she moves it.

"Thanks for doing that. I'm sure it meant a lot to him."

"Yeah, of course. Any time, you know that. I can be here in a heartbeat."

She stands up, dusting her hands off.

"You hitting the road, then?"

"...I should."

"Well, I'd hug you, but I don't want to mess up your nice Harvard clothes," she chirps with a small smirk.

"Stop. Don't even joke."

"I'm serious! Who is pressing your suits for you? You found yourself a pretty Cambridge girl?"

"I refuse to even acknowledge the inherent misogyny in that chirp," Shitty scoffs."I'm disappointed in you, Larissa."

She grins, wiping her hands on her shorts before going in for a hug. He holds her tightly, but his grip softens as the embrace drags on. He lingers. She smells faintly of cigarettes and oil paint.

"Besides..." He hazards, "The girls at Cambridge have nothing on the ladies from Samwell."

Her arms drop away from his waist, and he's certain he's blown it. Oh well. This is the game they've always played- flirt until it gets too real, then pretend like it never happened.

"You have class in the morning?" She awkwardly segues, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Nothing until the afternoon, but..." he shrugs. Mornings are reserved for studying.

"Smoke a bowl with me," She offers.

"I can't smoke and drive-"

"I know."

He smirks, raking his hand through his hair.

"Lards...You fucking angel. That is exactly what I want."

"Take that bullshit outfit off and stay awhile!" she beams, darting across the room to retrieve her kit. She's by his side a few minutes later, holding packed glass in one hand and a lighter in the other. They huddle together by the window- it's cracked enough to keep most of the fall air out, but allow for the calculated expulsion of smoke. This is an old ritual for the pair; stripped down to their underthings, sharing in the hedonistic delights of good herb and the snacks that Shitty's sure Lardo has stashed under her bed.

Lardo offers him the first hit, but he declines.

"Ladies first," he insists.

"Lady's choice," she counters.

"Can't argue with a woman's right to choose," Shitty agrees, taking the pipe. He inhales deeply and passes it over to Lardo, who matches his hit. They take turns quietly passing the piece back and forth until there's nothing left but ash.

"I didn't realize how badly I needed this. Thank you," Shitty murmurs, the edges of his mind starting to blur. He stretches out, surrounding himself with the scent of Lardo's bedding, the sheets cool and soft.

_Cool and soft...That's Lardo, alright._

"You're welcome. I knew you did. You're just as stressed as Bitty, in your own way."

She lays beside him, her bones popping as she moves.

"Am I?" He wonders aloud.

"Mmhmm...You're holding all your tension in your jaw. Like you do when a game goes into overtime."

"Oh."

They're quiet for a few minutes, just relaxing. Lardo turns to shut off the light. As she maneuvers back into place, she shifts slightly to rest her head on his chest.

"What's bothering you?"

_Pshht. Nothing? I feel great._

Moving past the delusional bliss that only marijuana can provide, he focuses in on his life, and all the ways it's disappointing him. Things have always been transient, but right now all the changes are overwhelming. He opens his mouth to say, "I'm just trying to find my footing." What comes out is,

"I miss you."

She's quiet for so long that he starts to wonder if she's fallen asleep. When she finally acknowledges him, it's not with words, but with movements. She rolls slowly, her legs parting, hooking over his hips to straddle his lap. There's enough light pollution from the street that he can see her, an ethereal being prowling through the dark. She stares down at him, her hands splayed across his chest, looking hungry, and aroused, and determined.

"What are you doing?" He asks stupidly, as if he needs clarification.

"Let's have sex," She replies simply, her hips rocking.

"...Like...Sex, sex?" A giddy giggle escapes his lips, which sets her off.

"Stop! I'm trying to seduce you!" She laughs.

"How's that working out for you?"

She swats his chest, purposefully grinding down onto his lap.

"Shitty- Please."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Swawsome."

Every movement is heightened by the effects of the weed, and Shitty finds himself unbelievably hard. It's sort of a blur as they scramble to remove what little clothing they're wearing, and then his hands are on her tits, fondling and squeezing at the soft handfuls of flesh. He's a bit too eager, and Lardo has to place her hands on top of his, slowing him down.

"Easy. Take it slow."

She leans down to kiss him, and he meets her mouth, his tongue darting between her lips. She's never kissed someone with a mustache, but she's certainly thought about it. Immediately she's imaging Shitty's mouth pressed between her legs, and she lets out a soft moan.

In all the times he's fantasized this, Lardo's never taken charge. He's sure that when he's sober he'll have to analyze what patriarchal crap cemented in his brain has prevented him from crafting up this scenario, but now, with Lardo riding his lap, his dick sliding between the cleft of her ass, he can't picture this happening any other way. Her movements are so confident, so self-assured, and god, it's the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He wants to touch her everywhere, wants to please her, wants to worship her.

"I want to make you feel good," he gasps out, his cock straining as she circles her hips again.

"Then fuck me," She demands.

Even though it pains him, he shakes his head.

"Not yet."

He pushes his pillows aside so he can lay down flat, and grabs her haunches. Coaxing her forward, his hands move to her hips as she settles over his mouth. His head tilts to kiss each of her knees, then her thighs, nipping and licking his way towards her sex. When he finally reaches her pussy, he flattens his tongue and licks from the base of her opening to the top of her vulva in one warm, wet stroke. She immediately wobbles, gasping. He repeats the movement a few times before swirling his tongue up and over the pearl of her clit.

It doesn't take long before she's swearing and grinding against his face, shouting obscenities as he devours her cunt. He eats her until she sobs, her legs shaking as she hovers on the edge of climax. She keeps shouting his name, and with each utterance his cock throbs, wanting to replace his tongue in her wet, warm depths. It only takes a few more swipes against her clit and she's wailing, her body shuddering as she's pushed over the edge.

It takes several minutes for her to come down- she's clutching the headboard, feeling too weak to move away, her breathing slowing as the tension melts from her body.

"Holy shit," she huffs out, finally finding the strength to shift her weight around.

"And now you know how I got my nickname!"

That earns him a swat, and a laugh.

"Shut up, no it isn't! I call bullshit." She snuggles against him, her hand trailing down to wrap around his cock.

"How did you get your nickname?" She wonders, stroking her hand over his skin, already slick with precum.

"Got super sick at my very first kegster. Woke up the next morning naked, in the kiddie pool, wallet gone. One of the seniors found me, looked me in the eye and said, 'You look like you've had a shitty night.' Shitty Knight. It stuck."

Lardo laughs again.

"Perfect."

She gives him a few more tugs before she's back in his lap, guiding him inside of her. It all happens so quickly that Shitty can barely react, and then he's gone, lost in the feeling of her body surrounding his.

"Perfect," he echoes, his fingers digging into her hips. This is what he's been missing. Lardo. Everything is manageable when he has her. He rolls his hips up into her, rocking slowly, savoring the slide of their bodies together.

She's less frantic now that she's come, and is more content to revel in their movements. He sits up so that their chests press together, their legs locking around each other's hips.

"This is good," he confirms, his sweat stained forehead pressing against hers.

"Fuck yeah it is," She breaths out, bearing down on his cock. He groans, thrusting in deep. They hold out for what feels like a lifetime, the drugs prolonging their pleasure. Lardo comes a second time, unexpectedly, when Shitty rasps his teeth over her collar bone while driving into her, his movements becoming frantic. It's not long before his own orgasm is ripped from his core, and he's curling into her side, his breathing erratic.

"Fuck."

"Mmm."

They lay together, a silent understanding settling over them. This has been a long time coming, and now that they're here, it feels right. Ultimately, Shitty is the first to speak.

"...Got any snacks?" 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

It's nearly eight when their phones chime simultaneously. Shitty, well-conditioned to the siren song of early alarms, grapples for his first. Lardo ignores hers in favor of burrowing deeper into the bedding.

Scanning over the screen, Shitty reads the text, then confirms that Lardo's phone has a matching message.

"Bitty wants us to meet for brunch."

Instead of responding, Lardo lets out an exhausted whine.

"I know, bro. I know."

He rubs the sleep out of his eyes, stretching.

_Fuck. We totally had sex._

_Where do we go from here? What should I say?_

"So...What now?" He offers, dazed.

Lardo rolls over, taking the blankets with her.

"Now you go buy me a coffee."


End file.
